What does Dr Strange has to do with your marriage?
Here’s a fun question for you. If you can choose to become a superhero of your choice, and you get to choose from any superhero of your choice: superman, wonder woman, anybody you desire. If you can choose to be any one of the superheroes, who would that be?
Last week I talked about what I did while Andrew was out of town, and this week, I’m going to tell you the other thing that I did while he’s not with me.
We like watching movies, but when Andrew is not with me I don’t go out to movies by myself. But I do like to re-watch some good movies. Andy isn’t into watching something that he’s already seen, so watching a movie for the 2nd time is typically something I do by myself.
And this time around, the movie that I chose to watch, is Marvel’s Dr. Strange.
There is one common theme that pretty much made most superheroes, and no it’s not money, even though that’s common amongst Batman and Iron Man, and no it’s not alien blood, not all of them are Superman and Wonder woman.
What most superheroes have in common, is that they have been through some type of extreme trauma – Batman’s death of his parents, Iron Man’s similar faith, Superman saw his whole planet turned to ashes.
Dr. Strange, a massively successful surgeon that is supposedly the best in his field, someone that is widely respected, tall, handsome, drives a Lamborghini. A man who seemingly has everything we would ever dream to have, a person that we’d all love to be.
At the height of his career as a surgeon, due to one, single, careless act, lost control of his Lamborghini, the car fell off the cliff and as a result, he survived, but lost the dexterity of both his left and right hand.
And, for a surgeon, a profession that relies heavily on their pair of hands, that makes the end of his career. He can no longer be a surgeon. Heck, he can’t even write legibly. He’s lost all the respect as a doctor, spent most of his money doing a variety of medical procedures that just couldn’t help him get his hands back. That huge sense of loss, drove him into an even worse temper and eventually drove away his girlfriend.
And, then, he is left with NOTHING.
And that’s a lesson that all of us should learn.
In one split second, everything can change.
Look, things can go very wrong, very fast, without you being able to react to it. And the price could be very high, monetary and otherwise. Like Dr. Strange, you could lose your money, your career, your relationships, your hopes, and your dreams.
And it is your reaction of the situation that will make or break you. You could accept your faith and choose to have nothing, be nothing, or, like all superheroes, they are like a Phoenix. They could burn down to ashes and they are reborn and soar to new heights.
The important lesson, is that, the end of a phase is the beginning of another. And whether your new phase, your next life, is better or worse than your last, is entirely up to you. Your attitude and your actions.
Dr. Strange didn’t give up, even after he had tried every experimental procedure, even after all his doctor friends refuses to treat him because they are afraid of losing their reputation as a medical professional.
He kept on digging, asking people of alternative ways to heal, and has gone great distance to eventually find his new path. His next phase.
Now even though the story is fiction, the path that Dr Strange went through is very real. And it could happen to any one of us.
Maybe not in the form of an extreme trauma, at least I hope you never have to go through something like that.
But, isn’t getting married a life changing event? Your old life as a single person is gone. And you move on to the next phase of your life as someone’s husband or wife, a life partner.
I don’t know at which phase of your life you are at, but if you are engaged and planning your wedding, I know it seems like the wedding day is the only thing that matters to you. And it should. Your wedding day should be special and memorable.
Now, for us, our wedding day is, I gotta say, far from “Perfect”.
And I’m not talking about my hair or makeup not being perfect or stuff like that.
One of my best friends flew 3000 miles to come to my wedding as my maid of honor, and she’s staying with us. 2 days before our wedding, in a sunny afternoon, we had all our friends to meet us at the hotel to run through a rehearsal and that would’ve been the first time I’ve seen how the place is actually setup, what we’re supposed to say, stuff like that.
On our way to the rehearsal, my friend in the backseat, with no warning at all,
A car side swiped us on the driver side, the car is a total loss, all 3 of us had to take the ambulance to the hospital, and we spent hours at the hospital. My friend, a young beautiful girl, ended up with 16 stitches on her forehead and one broken front tooth. Both me and Andrew had bruises all over us and we are hurting all over. Those hours that I spent at the hospital, watching the doctor stitch up my friend, is probably one of the most memorable moments of my life and I will never forget that day.
We somehow managed to get through our wedding, and thank god we delayed our honeymoon so we’re not flying out the next day because, honestly, there’s a lot of stuff we gotta do to put our lives back together after that incident.
Now, things eventually worked out for us. Even with a not-very-perfect wedding.
What really matters to us is the days that comes after the wedding. Your wedding day is a turning point for the both of us. But what really happens to your life are the days that follow your big day. It is a life long of dream building and happiness.
Now, back to Dr Strange. What makes him unique is really his attitude towards his new phase in life. He practice making those circles tirelessly, he reads lots and lots of books. More than any other apprentice there.
And that’s what makes him different. His willingness to learn, to practice. I know that for a very long time after I got my MBA that I feel like I never wanted to touch another book again, at least not any non-fiction books. As a college graduate we felt like we knew everything there is to know and we don’t need to learn anymore. But this kind of arrogance, thinking that you know it all, is exactly the reason why you are not able to excel, to get ahead. Arrogance, and fear, will keep you in your place, preventing you to be great. Stopping you to reach your dreams.
But, truthfully, your life really happens after you get out of school. And that’s where you really needed to get the knowledge to deal with life. There is no class in school that teaches you how to live with someone. There is no degree is intimate relationships. And, honestly, our parents, and our friends, may not always give us the best advice on our relationships. True?
Wisdom is in the books. The more you read, the more you move up in your life.
Nowadays it is even easier to read books now that, not only can you read them, you can also listen to books.
So what is the last non-fiction book that you’ve read? How long ago was that? Good books are worth a second read. Just like a good movie.
There are a load of books out there and if you want a place to start, we have a short list of our favorite books for you to start. Now we’re not endorsing any of these books and we definitely don’t gain anything out of recommending these books, but they are our favorites and we hope they could help you too.
Next time, we’re going to talk about Dr. Strange and the medical profession – the whole thing about reputation first, not the patient ….., and how he manage to convince his body to get to work and fix himself – put his body back together. Here’a fun question to end this episode:
When you get a cut on your finger, you put on a bandage. Now is it really the bandage that is healing you? If not then what is fixing you?
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So, until next time, Love what you live, and live what you love.
Our Favorite Books List:
Chicken Soup for the Soul series, by Jack Canfield
The Success Principles, by Jack Canfield
Money Master the Game, by Tony Robbins
The Compound Effect, by Darren Hardy
Man are from Mars, Woman are from Venus, by John Gray
Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill
Twelve Pillars, Jim Rohn and Chris Widener
Healthy for Life, by Dr Ray Strand
The Healthy Home, by Dr Myron Wentz
Change your Brain, Change your Life, by Dr Daniel Amen
The 4-hour work week, by Tim Ferriss
The Calorie Myth, by Jonathan Bailor
What Your Doctor doesn’t know about Nutritional medicine may be killing you, by Dr Ray Strand
Like a Virgin, by Sir Richard Branson