[Foolish Insights, by the Foolish Couple, 2017-02-28]
[The Foolish Couple @www.thefoolishcouple.com
, an online academy teaching couples everything we know about relationships and whole life success]
We’ve been married for 18 years, and we’ve been together since we were teenagers; that was almost 30 years ago. So the question we get the most is,
How do you guys stay together for so long?
How do you stay so young?
While the answer is probably as long as a book, here’s a little Foolish Insight that you may be interested in.
When I was 16 my family moved to Canada, which, is a bilingual country. They speak both English and French. So when we settled in, I thought it would be a good idea to take some lessons in French. So I came across this notion that in French, nouns have a gender. Some things are masculine, like the Fish (Le Poisson), and others are feminine, like apples (LA Pomme).
And I was very confused about it all, so, needless to say, I didn’t do very well in that class.
But lately I realize something else. French is the language of love, right? It is sexy and sensual and expressive. The masculinity and femininity actually refers to the energy that the word conveys.
So I take this notion and apply it to the relationship nowadays.
Every relationship has a person that is predominantly masculine, and one that is predominantly feminine. And this applies to both same sex and opposite sex marriages. It refers to the masculine energy or the feminine energy that a person carries with them.
In my grandparent’s days, the male is usually the bread winner, the one that goes out to work and brings home the dough. That person had mostly masculine energy. The female partner was usually the caregiver. They took care of the elderly, the children, the home and their energy is mostly feminine. Even when females were in the workforce, they were mostly in the care-giving roles like nurses, teachers, and housekeepers.
Over the last 30 years or so, since the Baby boomers came into the workforce, this traditional balance of masculine and feminine energy between a couple has shifted. As women enter the workforce in all industries and all types of careers, women are actually picking up more masculine energy.
I, for one, definitely feel that in myself. In my 20’s my husband and I started a business together and we had a garage that souped up cars, like the Fast and Furious type of business. And, I gotta say, 99% of our customers were men. The energy was very masculine and it was all ‘I gotta win’ and ra ra and all that. So I picked up on that energy into me.
When we moved to California, we took up different careers. Andrew started a home-based business and I became a business consultant in the Technology sector. And, once again, the people that I work with; and I’ve consulted at a lot of different companies, is also dominated by men. So, once again, I took up a lot of masculine energy and I tend to bring it home with me.
And when there are 2 masculine energies in a relationship, 2 things can happen:
- they become buddies, not lovers or
- they clash – which is why the divorce rate is increasing and they are more and more people that decide to stay single.
Luckily for me, Andrew actually shifts a little so that his masculine energy has gone down. He takes care of me when I am sick, he plays with our cats, and he actually opens up about his vulnerabilities and his concerns and fears. And that doesn’t mean that he is becoming less masculine, it just means that he is balancing his energy with mine and we become more compatible. It is all about energy Balance.
So, now that I realize that my energy is so masculine, what can I do to tone that energy down and bring back my feminine side?
A few days ago, my husband Andrew talked about Dress for Success. Here, I’m going to say, you can also ‘dress for your relationship’. You may go to work in a pant suit but when you get home, change into something that brings out your femininity. Something that has a gentler fabric, softer colors, something that makes you feel more sensual. Not necessary sexy lingerie but just focus on your energy.
Realize that when you get home, you no longer need to carry that masculine energy with you. Take a minute to get centered, clear your mind, and go back to your spouse as the loving wife that you are.
If you like this episode and would like to learn more, Andrew and I have a brand new online course available and we talk about Relationships in much more detail.
It’s not only about love and harmony, a great relationship will make you happier and look younger. It will help you with your career and your finances as well. And we give you practical steps on how you can enhance your relationship and achieve whole life success.
You can get all this at our website at ValentineCode.com. When you sign up, you get the first 90 days free so you can really experience what the program can do for you. And I strongly suggest that, if you want a magnificent relationship, give it a try.
That’s it for now. If you have any questions that you’d like me to address next time, send me an email at
Again, sign up at the valentinecode.com and it will give you the most wonderful, loving relationship you’ve ever dreamt of. Till next time
Love what you live and Live what you Love.