The Tangram of Love
[Foolish Insights – The Tangram of Love, first published on Sunday, April 16th, 2017]
It’s been a long time since I have an entire weekend to myself, without Andrew here with me. Years ago, when he used to travel for work or for family and I didn’t go with him, I would usually stay home and do some spring cleaning.
After all, Success Principle #28 is to clean up your Messes and Incompletes. So that’s what I decided to do.
This weekend I decided to clean out my closet, give away anything that hasn’t been used for many years and either give them away, recycle them, or somehow get rid of them.
On top of all my clothes these are 2 shelves that has some really old stuff there. I’m talking my wedding shoes from 1999, some drafting pencils that Andrew used when he was in art school, and some other stuff that I haven’t seen in a long time.
And I came across this little pink toy that I didn’t even remember that I have, and it is actually quite an interesting piece.
It is a “tangram”. And, traditionally, tangram is a dissection puzzle that consists of 7 pieces of different shapes. What I have here is actually a Valentine Tangram, which is basically a heart shaped tangram that has 9 pieces of varying shapes and sizes.
And the Valentine tangram appeals to me now because, the way I am today, with my life experiences and my work on relationship coaching, it strikes me as something that has a deeper meaning.
We often see the heart as a indication of love, and a symbol of an intimate relationship. What we have here is that, in order to make up this perfect, heart-shaped, intimate relationship, this perfect shape, there is more than 1 piece. It takes more than just love. After all, love is just an emotion, a feeling.
An intimate relationship involves multiple pieces, and of course it takes love. Love is the foundation of a relationship, but that’s not all there is. There are other pieces to the puzzle. Not only do you need all the pieces you also need to know how to put them all together. Otherwise, even if you have all the pieces, things won’t work out to the way you like it. If you arrange the pieces differently, you ended up with something else, something other than the perfect heart, the perfect relationship.
We’ve talked about the life circle before and if you haven’t, make sure you visit our website and check out the video we posted up on our about us page. The link can be found here as well.
It is the foundation of building a perfect, intimate, connected, long-lasting, passionate relationship.
Think about someone that you knew that has been through a divorce or a break up. What was their reason for separating? More than likely the formal, stated reason is irreconcilable differences, right?
Think about it, why were these differences irreconcilable only after they get together? Are there certain details and conditions that you probably should’ve worked out before you decided to be together? Or, are these differences really the problem? Is it causing pain and suffering to the people in the relationship?
From my experiences, there are many of these supposedly quote unquote “irreconcilable” differences that are really not a big deal. Sure everyone is different, even twins are not identical in every way.
We all have different habits, different preferences, and different priorities.
Look, one of the most common complaints that I’ve heard from women is this:
Why can’t he squeeze from the end? Why does he have to squeeze from the middle and makes the tube all weird and uneven?
Look! Why the heck does that matter? He is brushing his teeth and that’s good! He’s not even using more toothpaste, so just forget about it. It shouldn’t even be on your mind, let alone something that annoys you.
In Japanese there’s a term called Wabi Sabi love, in Chinese there’s a similar term that pretty much translates to be ‘Keep one eye open and one eye closed’ – meaning, just let it go. Small things like that shouldn’t even bother you, should not even cross your mind.
If you would just look on the bright side, like ‘He is brushing his teeth!’ Then I can guarantee you that these seemingly irreconcilable differences will simply disappear. Gone. It’s not that they don’t exist, but you won’t see them anymore, they won’t be in your consciousness.
Just remember that, no matter how close you are to your partner, you are 2 different human beings, different DNAs, different family backgrounds, upbringing, schooling, childhood friends. Everything that shapes a person is different between the 2 of you. So embrace the difference.
Remember, the tangram of love has many pieces, if you want to know how to put the pieces together, we’ll gladly show you how to put together your pieces in real life. Sign up at our site at www.TheFoolishCouple.com and we will keep this knowledge coming to you.
We’d love to hear your comments about the Valentine tangram and about your relationships. Just leave us your comments. Better yet, leave us your questions. We will pick up some of our fan’s questions and address them in our upcoming Foolish Insights.
Until next time, Love what you live, and live what you love!